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Types of Jiver

The Sad Prowler
Wanders up and down the ranks of the waiting dancers, often with an inane grin on his face. You can almost hear the cogs in his brain turning as he tries to decide who to dance with. Just wait, he'll be back in a moment having reached the end of the line.

The Sad Proud Prowler
Just like the Sad Prowler, but with two braincells. This means he is aware that he is being just a bit obvious about looking at potential partners, so affects a sort of "I'm doing something else other than search for my perfect partner" look.

The Waiting Jiggler
Usually female, the Jiggler can be found at the edge of a dance floor, jiggling by herself to the music, desperately hoping someone will dance with her.

The Pro
Wears braces, spats, dance trousers and a big smile. All these Pros have one thing in common - they think they are damn good dancers. And generally they are right.

The Newbie Gusher
"Oh thanks ever so for asking me to dance! Oh wow wow wow hey can we do that how did you do this? Isn't this amaaaazing? Wheee! Oh you're soooo good "

The Perfectionist
"Actually, its the Lesser Spotted Double Hatchback Comb Return. Which is signalled by raising the left eyebrow while rocking back on one's left leg. Are you new or something?"

The Shower
A small, localised rainshower of sweat. Adequate traction becomes a problem, as maintaining any form of handhold grip.

The Workout
If she was an aeroplane we'd say she was "heavy on the controls". If she was a car she'd need power assisted steering. As a Jiver she is a Workout.

The Distraction
Can be anything which diverts the man's attention from the dance. Nipples coming out to play, excessively short skirt which keeps flying up. Subject invariably completely unaware of the effect, unlike all the men with a 10km radius and their girlfriends.

The Speed Freak
Its not the style, its not the qualtity, its the RAW SPEED OF THE MOVES that counts. Sod the rhythm, what beat??? Just get those moves out...

The Lech
"Well hellll-oh! May I have the exquisitie pleasure of your company on this here dance floor? Would you mind terribly if we did some really slow and sexy moves so I can demonstrate what a great and amazing gift God gave to women when I was created? Oh, heres my business card... call me anytime on the mobile..."

The Omnipresent
Wherever you go, they are there. Choose any Jive event, any time, any place and THERE THEY ARE. Do they follow you or what? Are they so Jive-mad they go EVERYWHERE? Amazing. After all, they must be really sad to spend that much time Jiving - you've seen them 7 times in the last week... too much of a good thing really. They ought to be like you and cool down a little...

The Nails
Sports machetes instead of fingernails. Part-time job as a hedge trimmer, spends rest of time fencing without a sword. Man finds this out when he is halfway through a rather critical move which has gone slightly wrong and requires a tighter than normal handhold. Examination of his hand reveals that tingling feeling to be caused by five razors being dug into his poor little pinkie...

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